Follow these tried and tested tips to ensure you start suffering from depression. I guarantee you that they work. I followed these tips religiously for 2 years from 2014 to 2016 and ended up suicidal.
I know, they really are that effective!
In fact, I would go as far as to say that adhering to just 5 of these key principles will potentially be enough to send you on the slippery path to depression.
Oh wait, you don't want to be depressed...my bad!
In that case, don't follow any of the tips I've mentioned.
I really do hope you see the irony of this post
Eat Shit - sugar spikes, inflammation, weight gain, poor sleep.…need I go on.
Spend your life on social media - a slippery slope to negativdom! (just made up a word)
Drink booze - the magical tipple that can make all your problems disappear...yeah right!
Spend time with negative people - We all have/had a mate who brings us down. Invite them out for a beer and kebab.
Focus on the past - recall all the mistakes you’ve made, times you’ve fucked up and dwell on them!
Worry about the future - that’s right, worry about something you have absolutely no control over.
Do nothing - that’s right, do sweet FA and something amazing will land on your lap…sure it will!
Blame other people - if there is a recurring in your life, it’s always other people, right? Do the math!
Stop pursuing your goals - the surefire way of losing purpose is to settle for second best.
Let other people decide your fate - wives, girlfriends, bosses…nothing like being in control